It’s a month before Christmas and my daughter has Covid. At home, we took precautions to prevent transmission, but she has lovingly passed it onto me. Quarantine is our priority.
Fortunately, we have both had mild symptoms and are very lucky to be emerging out of quarantine feeling okay. Covid for me has been like a heavy cold, but with lots of sneezing. I have been wearing a mask to protect the rest of the family, but frantically changing it after almost every sneeze to try not to rebreathe my own germs!
The main impact of quarantine though, has been the firework-like emotions it has set off. All the things that I thought that I had packaged away, or already had a handle on, came exploding to the fore. Back to back quarantines give you way too much time to think!
What are we doing here? How long are we going to be here? When are we moving home? Are we moving home? If we stay, how long are we staying? What is best for our children? Would they be disappointed if we moved back to the UK? Are we giving them the best start to life? What about schools? Will our life be better here or at home? Am I home-sick? Why am I feeling like this?????????????
Then add on the guilt. I’ve got time on my hands; I should use this wisely. I should do at least 3-hours of French a day to stop my skills from slipping away and boost my progress.
I should tidy the larder. It’s such a state.
I should get ahead with our Christmas shopping; finish buying gifts. I can’t get out to look, but I can just buy stuff online. What is easy to buy and get shipped? Do people really want this or am I just ticking things off my to-do list? Isn’t the point to give something with thought? Oh, I’m so over this Christmas thing before it’s even started.
Where are we going to be for Christmas? Can we make it back home to family? Should we stay here to be on the safe side? If we do go back, what if my PCR test still reads positive even though I will have finished quarantine weeks before? What about the children’s presents, which country will they need to be in?
The house is in such a state! I’ve laid low to avoid spreading Covid germs everywhere, but now after a few days the place is a tip. Is anyone else bothered by it? No. Why am I so bothered by it? Why is the rest of my family not bothered by this? Am I doing too much normally at home? Should I be making the kids do more so they know how much effort it takes? I’ve got to disinfect the whole house ….
My husband. He works incredibly hard. That’s why I should be doing most of the things at home. That’s part of the unspoken deal now that we live here and I’m no longer working. Maybe this will be a lightbulb moment where he realises how much I actually do? Why am I thinking about this and not actually talking to him about it?
Friends – you are very fabulous people! Understanding this rollercoaster and dropping off care packages by the front door. I’ve cried quite a few times this week thanks to you!! Quarantini in the evening over zoom – it’s so good to catch up even if I’m just sipping on Lemsip. Thank you for understanding.
And the dog! I love her so dearly but she is breaking my heart staring at me and wondering why I’m not taking her for a walk. I always take her for a walk. She’s my responsibility. She doesn’t understand that I’m keeping my distance just in case she gets some type of canine Covid … does that actually exist?
‘Mummy, we have 6 ketchups and no mayonnaise in the cupboard’…
‘Why don’t we have any more mayonnaise?’…
‘There’s nothing to eat in the house anymore… I can’t make anything for lunch’.
‘Mummy, what can I eat?’
Oh we definitely need a family meeting. I can’t keep thinking like this and not saying anything out loud. As soon as I can speak normally, have stopped worrying that I’m spreading dodgy germs and the hormones have settled down, that’s one of the first things I’m going to do.
That and give myself a break. It’s stressful living away from home at the best of times, but even more so in the midst of a world-wide pandemic. Take each day at a time and don’t rush decisions – especially in the midst of quarantine. I need to take my own advice.
In the meantime, I’ll indulge in my new favourite past-time if I’m not feeling so good – sucking on a Vicks Blue Menthol whilst wearing a mask!!!
Give it a try – It will blow your mind!!!!!! You’re welcome 😉