Do you celebrate Christmas? And if so, how does it make you feel?
Christmas is a very difficult time for many people, and brings up so many emotions. Personally we are extremely fortunate not to be in need or distress. For which I’m immensely thankful. However, since moving to live away from ‘home’, Christmas is a time increasingly riddled with crazy pressures and strain.
Are you one of the people who absolutely love Christmas and thrive on the magic of it? You can’t wait for the weather to turn cold and have a prospect of snow. Do you put your Christmas trees up at the earliest opportunity and start humming festive tunes?
Or someone who can’t wait for it to be over? Someone who has missed out on the element of joy that the Christmas lovers have firmly within them. Instead you feel the stress, hours of work and, let’s face it, probably considerable family arguments stretching before you.
Living away from family and close friends delivers another dimension. There is the usual trope of parents buckling under Christmas demands: present buying for demanding teens; providing last minute outfits for the school performance; secret Santa gifts and bottle donations for the Christmas Fair; wondering whether to write cards this year or to donate instead.
However, when living abroad there is the added guilt of being away. Of having chosen to live apart from friends and family and thus being the ones that need to accommodate everyone else for Christmas. Or perhaps harbouring an overwhelming desire to reconnect to make Christmas feel right.
Have you had that feeling before? That warm glow of feeling wanted and loved. Of feeling truly important to others, alongside the bilious aftertaste of resentment when you realise that your family are destined to do all the travel, flex your plans in all directions and organise and arrange gifts that are suitable for not only the recipient, but also for transporting back by plane.
Since living in Switzerland I have found that Christmas prep has grown exponentially, as seemingly our family must make considerations for everyone else in order to give our children a “family” Christmas.
Travel, well of course we will, that seems only fair when we are the furthest away. But then somehow we always end up with long car journeys to visit different sides of the family, or inexplicably scheduling extra rendez-vous en route.
Honestly, who is going to enjoy a 3 hour meet-up in the middle of a 5 hour car journey. Make it the 23rd December and find yourself in a town in Gloucestershire picked for its ease of access to the major motorways, in icy temperatures and try to find the Christmas joy! Enforced conviviality anyone? Lovely to see you, have missed you enormously, but I can’t feel my fingers as we ice skate – clearly we need to make the most of our time together having fun!
Presents are a minefield too. Not only does it seem to be my responsibility to suggest every single present, but I also need to figure out the best way to buy and how to have them delivered whilst achieving the minimum disruption for the giver. Which is why I am now overly familiar with the different delivery fees and import taxes charged to get things to Switzerland.
Of course not every family member is like this, but once you’ve started to ‘help’ some with the present buying it is almost easier to take everything over. Or risk the – ‘I know you said paperbacks because you’re flying, but I just thought hardbacks are nicer’ conversation as you smile through clenched teeth.
Thankfully (and hopefully I am not tempting fate) travel plans this year are proving easier, as Covid restrictions haven’t reared their head. I’m a lot more confident that presents purchased will actually be in the same country as us, this year, which is always helpful!
Plus, it feels like we can plan things to enjoy this year with family and friends, rather than risk assess each activity in advance to avoid Covid and the possibility of having an extended stay!!
Living abroad certainly has many, many benefits but being far from home brings with it extra considerations, negotiations and above all work! So if you feel yourself buckling under too many demands, take comfort in knowing your fellow “away from homers” are feeling the same pressures.
And if there’s one thing we can offer each other, it is permission to take a break. To clear some headspace for a walk with a friend, a coffee at a patinoire, whatever gives you a chance to breathe.
Because Christmas simply doesn’t fall apart that easily. We fear it might, but it’s so much tougher than us. Even Covid didn’t stop it in it’s tracks – we all just got creative. So perhaps if we put some faith in Christmas being ok, whatever we do or don’t do, we can find some breathing space for ourselves.
Are you buckling under the pressures of Christmas on top of dealing with the demands of family life?
Or able to have some perspective on what’s important for Christmas?
Tell us, how you’re feeling, here at The HUB we would love to know.